Internet Culture

Real formulas for the math the internet keeps arguing about

Eight calculators that settle the long-running debates: how many licks, the airspeed of an unladen swallow, can you walk to Mordor by Tuesday, what time SpongeBob actually means by "later," whether you are over 9000, and how many guesses a real Wordle takes.

Tootsie Pop Licks Calculator

The world may never know — but the math does. Calculate how many licks it actually takes to reach the chewy Tootsie Roll center based on your tongue and lick depth.

Walk to Mordor Calculator

One does not simply walk into Mordor — but if you did, the math says it'd take a while. Calculate days to Mount Doom from any starting point at your hiking pace.

Coconut Swallow Velocity Calculator

What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow carrying a coconut? Pick African vs European, set the coconut weight, get the answer that nearly threw King Arthur off the Bridge of Death.

The Answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything Calculator

Per Deep Thought's 7.5-million-year computation in The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, the answer is always 42. Type your question. The answer is 42.

SpongeBob Time Conversion Calculator

Convert real time into SpongeBob narrator-card intervals (the French narrator: 'one eternity later'). 5 minutes, 24 hours, three weeks, one eternity.

It's Over 9000! Power Level Calculator (Dragon Ball Z)

Vegeta's scouter cracked at 9001 reading Goku's Kamehameha. Calculate your own power level based on training years, gravity multiplier, and how many fusions you've done.

Wordle Average Guesses Calculator

Optimal Wordle play averages 3.421 guesses per puzzle (per the 2022 MIT solver). This calculator estimates yours based on starting word strategy and vocabulary.

Among Us Sus Probability Calculator

Pink is sus. Or is it? Calculate your probability of being voted off the airlock based on emergency meetings called, tasks completed, and how long you spent in Electrical.