Everything Is Sus

When the vibes are off and you need numbers to confirm it

Five calcs for the suspicious among us. Score how sus your group really is, decode the mixed signals you've been getting, run the rose probability, audit whether they were actually on a break, and check if that late-night call meant anything at all.

Among Us Sus Probability Calculator

Pink is sus. Or is it? Calculate your probability of being voted off the airlock based on emergency meetings called, tasks completed, and how long you spent in Electrical.

Mixed Signals Decoder

Translate ambiguous texting patterns into a confidence score and a plain-English interpretation, so you can stop refreshing the chat and find out what's actually going on.

Bachelor Rose Probability Calculator

Will you get the final rose? Calculate your probability based on hometown date count, 1-on-1 count, and how the lead's mom feels about you.

We Were On a Break Calculator

Friends Season 3, Episode 15: Ross slept with the copy-shop girl. Rachel said they were on a break? They WERE on a break. This calculator tells you how long that defense holds up.

Hotline Bling Call-Back Calculator (Drake)

Drake's 2015 single asks the eternal question: should you call them back? This calculator decides based on hours since last text, what your friends said, and whether you've been drinking.