Collection · 8 calculators
Office Survival
Math for the part of the week your soul leaves your body
Eight calculators for the meetings, the deadlines, and the slow corporate drain. Cost out your meetings, price the procrastination tax, count your sleep debt, and audit the streaming services you have been quietly funding from your work card.
Meeting Damage Calculator
Calculate how many hours, dollars, and team-attention units your weekly meetings consume, and how many of them could have been a single email.
Procrastination Cost Calculator
Convert delay days into real dollars: late penalties, opportunity cost, and the hourly value of low-grade dread you carry around while not doing the thing.
Sleep Debt Interest Calculator
Convert this week's short nights into a sleep-debt total with an equivalent APR, productivity penalty, and the number of full-rest days needed to repay.
Subscription Graveyard Calculator
Total up the streaming services, apps, and software subscriptions you forgot to cancel and see what your zombie subscriptions cost you per year.
That's What She Said Per Meeting Calculator (The Office)
Michael Scott averages roughly 1.3 'that's what she said' jokes per scene in seasons 2-7 of The Office. This calculator estimates how many you'd hear in a meeting.
Hodor Hold the Door Calculator
Game of Thrones Season 6 broke us. This calculator estimates how long Hodor could hold a door against an army of White Walkers and wights, based on door material, attacker count, and Hodor's faithful 6'10" frame.
Social Battery Drain Calculator
Estimate how long you can stay at a social event before your battery hits zero, plus an exit strategy you can actually deploy in real life.
Touch Grass Requirement Calculator
Score how chronically online your week has been and get a doctor-flavored prescription for outdoor minutes, complete with a recommended activity.
Other collections
Dating Delusion Pack
Translate ambiguous texting into pattern-matched honesty
Internet Culture
Real formulas for the math the internet keeps arguing about
Cinema Night
Math for the rewatch — settle the bets the movie keeps starting
Group Chat Disputes
For the debate currently consuming your group chat
Existential Tuesday
When nothing's wrong but everything feels heavy
The Adulting Audit
The spreadsheet your therapist would build for you
First-Date Forecast
Before, during, and the post-mortem
WFH Goblin Mode
From your couch, in pajamas, with the door locked
Monday Morning Reset
What the week is actually going to cost you
80s & 90s Nostalgia Hour
Memory lane, with formulas
Everything Is Sus
When the vibes are off and you need numbers to confirm it