Office Survival

Math for the part of the week your soul leaves your body

Eight calculators for the meetings, the deadlines, and the slow corporate drain. Cost out your meetings, price the procrastination tax, count your sleep debt, and audit the streaming services you have been quietly funding from your work card.

Meeting Damage Calculator

Calculate how many hours, dollars, and team-attention units your weekly meetings consume, and how many of them could have been a single email.

Procrastination Cost Calculator

Convert delay days into real dollars: late penalties, opportunity cost, and the hourly value of low-grade dread you carry around while not doing the thing.

Sleep Debt Interest Calculator

Convert this week's short nights into a sleep-debt total with an equivalent APR, productivity penalty, and the number of full-rest days needed to repay.

Subscription Graveyard Calculator

Total up the streaming services, apps, and software subscriptions you forgot to cancel and see what your zombie subscriptions cost you per year.

That's What She Said Per Meeting Calculator (The Office)

Michael Scott averages roughly 1.3 'that's what she said' jokes per scene in seasons 2-7 of The Office. This calculator estimates how many you'd hear in a meeting.

Hodor Hold the Door Calculator

Game of Thrones Season 6 broke us. This calculator estimates how long Hodor could hold a door against an army of White Walkers and wights, based on door material, attacker count, and Hodor's faithful 6'10" frame.

Social Battery Drain Calculator

Estimate how long you can stay at a social event before your battery hits zero, plus an exit strategy you can actually deploy in real life.

Touch Grass Requirement Calculator

Score how chronically online your week has been and get a doctor-flavored prescription for outdoor minutes, complete with a recommended activity.